royally....

“The key to a well-lived life: Screw up (often, and boldly), learn from your mistakes, repeat.” // Elizabeth Gilbert

Why is it that the fear of messing up is stopping us...especially as adults.  Especially when it comes to money and finances.  Screwing up...”royally” as I like to say, is often the best way to learn.  It can be such a painful process but its almost the only way to learn as an adult.  You can read about others mistakes, hear about others mistakes, but until you live them, fail at them, admit to them and recover- you aren’t learning.  So make some mistakes...I promise you will learn from them. 

coffee

Buying Experiences...

When we use our money to buy positive experiences we gain more.  Not something I have always thought of mostly because we don’t usually think about the long term effects our purchases have on our lives.  Like when we are in a bad mood...we are likely to spend the most and studies show that we are likely to spend FOUR times as much money for something.  But when we buy experiences we get several benefits...looking forward to the event, the event itself and in some case (the hope is that we...) have decades of fond memories.  Think about everything you spend your money on...we relive our memories much more than our material possessions.  While I love my material possessions...alone they don’t make me the happiest. 

The answer...

Most people view money in relative...we compare our wealth to the those around us and we want ours to be higher.  Even I fell for this... choosing A) over B) even though in B) you make double.

In this particular study, about half of the people surveyed chose to make 50K over 100K so that they would make higher than those around them.

Here is a way around this dilemma...by boosting our social and career wellbeing. When we have higher career wellbeing, you perceive your pay much more favorably than those with low career wellbeing.  If your daily work if fulfilling (and engaging) and your relationships are strong your much less likely to get caught up in the comparison of your wealth to others.  Money is only relative and when we are happy in our lives...especially in our careers and socially...it doesn't matter how much money we make or what our neighbor is doing.  We are happy and isn't that important!!!

Keeping up with the Jones

Which of the following would you choose...

1. making 50,000 a year while everyone around you makes 25,000 
2. making 100,000 a year while everyone around you makes 200,000

What do you think most people choose...I'll post it later today...

Financial Wellbeing

Financial Wellbeing is all about effectively managing your economic life...something that I do not do well naturally... 

While money does not buy you happiness or neccearry make your happier by having more of it.  Living in a wealthy country does increase your odds of having a good life and being happier.  Research shows that wealthier countries have more people with higher financial wellbeing.  

But you can buy happiness...by giving money away or spending it on others.  It is proven that people's happiness increases more when they spend money on others rather than themselves.

If you want to increase your Financial Wellbeing...improve your standard of living, those with high career wellbeing and social wellbeing are two times more likely to be satisfied with their standard of living.

learned

----people change the world more person at a time, one moment at a time

--we have influence through our social interactions


----happy people increase our happiness more than money

...I spend more than 6 hours a day socializing...but working on balance

--we really do learn the most when our lives intersect with others

----------a true friend is one that loves us through all mistakes and troubles

when you see a need... meet it!

You never know how something you say or do will effect someone.  It may be just what they need.  I got my proof today that this happens through people sometimes...even at the Tag Office. :)  

So I was at the tag office on Monday...showing my emissions testing and paying my LOVELY ad valorem tax...it was an anxious day.  The type when you can’t think beyond yourself or the day and feel numb.

I walked into the office (for the second time...I had forgotten money the first time), the security guard, a small black man that looked happy as could be is just standing there by the main window. (where you check in to get a number then sit in the adjacent waiting room to wait for that number to be called).   He was by himself and starts up quietly almost under his breath saying something "....". 


 I remember thinking, who is he talking to...maybe he is talking to himself.  What he began to say was exactly what I needed to hear that day and a reminder of a truth I overlook too often in times of fear.  I had no idea that it was for me until this... After I signed in at the front desk as I walk by he says,"..." (the conclusion to his previous comment)  which made it more clear.

  Thats all he said, it was so simple, he didn't even look at me.  He cleared his throat, looked down,  and gave a small smile as we went back into "work mode".  


 The rest of the time I sat waiting for my number to be called, I was watching him because I though surely this can't be for me, maybe...he talks to everyone or even talks to himself.   He said nothing else or even made another sound while others were coming into the office to check in.  You would be amazed at the affect this has had on me.  When we listen to the world around us...we are reminded and encouraged beyond belief. 

I say all this to remind you, sometimes we are called to be a bit nicer to someone, simile at someone, call someone, or even say something to someone we don’t even know.  Its how you change the world...in the small stuff.  My faith reminds me...I am loved so very much and the world is reminding me more of this each day.

When you see a need, meet it...don’t over think it, the moment may pass you by....

you have influence

Social connections influence our behaviors, habits and health...did you know that.  Did you know, you are 61% more likely to smoke if you have a direct connection to a smoker and at second degree (a friend of your friend) you are still 29% more likely to smoke.  While I really am never tempted to ever smoke, even if my best friend smoked, friends do influence us way more than we may realize.  

There are all types of stats out there about how they influence us from our happiness to the health of our heart literally.  Friends are not just vital to keep us company, without them we are literally putting our life at risk.  The support of a friend in the hard times can improve our cardiovascular health and even lower our stress levels.  People change us or bring up things we need to change...even the people we don’t even know.  My faith leads me to believe that people are placed in our lives for reasons and when we respond to our “hunches” we can change the world...  I’ll show you proof of that tomorrow.

spread it

I absolutely love this quote...

Six

According to Wellbeing, on average we should spend up to SIX Hours a day socializing.

  Before you think this is way too much time...I’ll tell you it includes work, home, phone, email, and other communications.  We are social people, every one of us.  No one likes to be alone all the time.

  The healthiest people I know are surrounded by others who encourage their development and growth and invest in the life's of others.  But if your like me...I can sometimes...often spend more than six hours a day socializing.  So my goal this week... to track my social time...to see where I could make changes. I do believe a healthily life is a balanced one.

its your life...

Isn't it true, that the people whom surround us are watching us?  We have influence...I am reminded of this when faced with a decision or circumstance...especially difficult ones.  According to Gallup research, even your friend's friend's friend influences your wellbeing.  Thats a lot of influence and thats a lot of people.


So while having the right friendships in my life is important, I think we must first look at ourselves.  I love this song, it consistently reminds me to not only talk the walk but walk the walk (do it)...the world is watching you.

It’s your life
What you gonna do?
The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who
Your heart beats for
It’s an open door
It’s your life

Are you who you always said you would be?
With a sinking feeling in your chest
Always waiting for someone else to fix you
Tell me when did you forget

To live the way that you believe
This is your opportunity
To let your life be one that lights the way

Its your life

Album: My Paper Heart
Artist: Francesca Battistell

Our influence is important especially socially.  Its important to step back from time to time and evaluate...Do I light the way for others?

Social Wellbeing

Social Wellbeing is having strong relationships and love in your life....

In the movie, Up in The Air, Ryan’s job is to fire people, he spends 320 days a year traveling by himself, throughout the movie he begins to see the downfalls of this life...in one scene he asks...”If you think about it, your favorite memories, the most important moments in your life... were you alone?”  Ryan later goes on to say, “Life is better with company”. 

While I am not a huge fan of this movie (its not the most uplifting movie I’ve ever seen), It brings up a great point...the best moments of our life happen when we intersect with others... not when we are alone.  We take for granted the impact that others play in our life (both positive and negative), they change us, they shape us, they help us and grow us.  I would not be the person I am today without the influence of others (and the grace of god).  If your like me, your constantly defining and redefining this balance.  According to Wellbeing, “people thriving in Social Wellbeing have great relationships, which gives them positive energy on a daily basis”.  Our friends and the people in our lives have a huge effect on our lives and our wellbeing....

i learned...

Engaging in your career makes all the difference, leaving my personal life (in my case IPhone) “in the car” as much as possible.

It’s exciting when you see your strengths both in your personal and professional life.

-i.e.- ideation is one of my strengths (it is the creative process of generating, developing and communicating new ideas, where an idea is understood as a basic element of thought that can be either visual, concrete, or abstract…ideation begins with innovation, then development, and ends in actualization)

Professionally- I saw an idea that I had expressed start to take effect in a big way...I can’t explain how exciting it is to see your ideas accepted, understood and strengthened by your company…all because I saw a possible solution to benefit the broader organization and spoke up-expressed a need to change.  Or in my case simplify.

Personally- you are seeing an “idea” I had - I’m not exactly sure how my writing will play out but I do know I am supposed to write.

I am very blessed, in an area of wellbeing I once was very lost in- if I can do it anyone can….

Tomorrow...on to the next

Work is to fun as...is to....

Can work be fun?

So I googled...how to make work fun today...Wow there are a lot of options and I have to admit some great suggestions out there as well as some books (some of which seem like they would just be funny).  Many suggestions are obvious... 

Making others happy

Be Positive

Make friends 

Laugh

Here are my suggestions based on what I know and read...

1. Don’t take yourself so seriously...laugh a little and don’t stress out (I don’t get any work done when I’m stressed and really no one wins...especially not me)
2. Be real... don’t take on more than you know you can handle and be honest about what you can, have and will do (this way we don’t ever have to feel like we are living a lie...I am so guilty of taking on more than I can handle..its so easy to do)
3. Partnership...work is so much more fun when you have friends and partners...I would argue this point to the ground...no one likes to be alone all the time

Yes work can be fun...but its up to you.

Is a good boss just as important as a good doctor?

     My challenge yesterday...success! So successful that I think I will do it again today.  

     We spend a lot of time at work...so its helpful when we love the people we work with.  Is a good boss as important as a good doctor?...I think this question is interesting and I love what it implies...A good boss is just as important as a good doctor.  Our bosses have some of the greatest potential to shape us, help us and change us.  A lot can be learned and gained from a good boss.  Which leads me to an unfortunate finding about the person we least enjoy being around...”Of all the categories people ranked, from friends to relatives to coworkers to children, they ranked the time they spend with their managers as being the worst time of the day” (in some cases even lower than chores and cleaning the house).  No wonder we don’t like work...

Which leads me to my favorite new tradition at work, its what I like to call.... “Wednesday lunch”.  For the past few Wednesdays our triangle team, (I like to think of us as the decision makers) which includes my manager and visual, go to lunch together.    It has been the greatest way to connect and reminds me that we are all just people- and I happen to be able to learn a lot from my manager.  I am guilty of this....we are afraid to ask for help or insight from others..especially our managers “in fear of...”, but really if they are anything like mine...people want to help you more than you think. 

BE at work

Sometimes at work- I find myself wanting to be somewhere else.  I love my job, I love the people I work with, and I could make my case all day why my job really is the perfect fit for me.  This is not my point...below applies if you love your job or you hate it (I really don’t like the word hate though).  

Career Wellbeing requires you to be actively engaged in your career.  It requires engagement- to become fully invested in your job while you there (see job description).  I’m not saying don’t take breaks, I’m saying if we really want our job to become our passion and if we believe every aspect of our life is interconnected...we must focus.  In order to improve my focus, I look to what I give my attention to...  

So here is today...I’m leaving my IPhone in the car.  Yes for the full 8 hour workday....even lunch.  This is going to be the hardest adjust I have made yet.  I love my IPhone...a lot- but its also a distraction...  

I know this sounds crazy...but I dare you to try it...even if its just one day a week.

To DO

Its Monday and today is the day that many go from engaged to disengaged... Did you know that high Career Wellbeing can help you live into your 90s. By find ways to “have fun” at work and having the opportunity to see your strengths play out every day in your job, your stress in reduced and engagement is increased. In one study I read about, by the time people reached their 50s, two thirds of them wanted to keep working rather than retire.

Although I don’t work on Mondays...today is all about setting goals. You are more focused and productive during your work week when you set goals or write a to do list ahead of time. I usually don't take the time to do this and rely on my outlook calendar to remind me what to do. So here is what I am going to try...write a full to do list of what I realistically want to accomplish this week and do it.

find out what you love...

A good quote hit me yesterday and it drives home the point I want to make today... its what we need to be doing as organizations, as people, and as communities....”find out what people love to do and let them do it”. Can you imagine!

Our strengths are things that give us energy, they relate closely to the things we are passionate about, we love doing these things and spend a lot of our energy thinking about our strengths. My strengths have been areas where I can and have improved the most. I’m not necessarily the best at these things but I believe I am wired to grow in these areas.

I’m going to focus on mine today (the activities and situations that bring me energy) in my “weekend life” and then see if the same applies in my “weekday life”. The goal here is, that people who have high career wellbeing can see how work is closely aligned with and can’t help but spill over into their personal life.

Happy Sunday!

Career Wellbeing

Career Wellbeing is how we occupy our time and/or simply liking (maybe even loving) what you do everyday.

Only 20% of people can give a strong “yes” in response to this question... “Do you like what you do each day?” (Wellbeing).

Work... we spend a lot time here and if we aren’t careful this part of our lives can consume us. We all know the common first question..., ”What do you do?”. Why is it.. that what we spend most of our time doing is the very thing people dread most each week? Think about it...we are literally wishing our lives away when we do this. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live this way. No wonder depression is so high. We underestimate the influence that our job has on our life, our health and overall wellbeing.

Think of the impact your job, your career, has had on your life. When I think back on the effect it has had on mine...its huge..and it hasn’t been easy. It doesn’t matter what your job is, there is hope...

let it begin...

This is where my journey begins.... over the next five weeks, I will be focusing on improving one category of wellness at a time (I am "thriving" in four and "struggling" in one) by taking, giving and reading about ways to improve in each element. Of course, I will provide my candid opinion along the way. I believe that making small changes...obvious changes... will have a major and lasting impact.

a door is opened...an adventure begins

So...my next adventure came to me via UPS yesterday, a book I've been waiting/wanting to read....Wellbeing (Rath and Harter, 2010). Literally it just arrived, I did not order this book...I had no idea it was coming and it's actually an answer to prayer. For those of you that know me- I am an advocate for both improving my own life and encouraging others. This book comes from the creators of Strength Finders (we all know...I love this book) and focuses on 5 areas of wellbeing and the importance of strength in all 5 of them. Here I will document my journey...we will see what happens... "Wellbeing isn't just about being happy...its about what makes life worthwhile...it "enables you to enjoy each day and get more out of your life- and perhaps (this is what excites me) boost the wellbeing of your friends, family members, colleagues, and others in your community." Wellbeing